I signed up for a free dating site and started chatting to several guys. One of them, seemed like a nice and decent person.
When we started talking, it was about usual topics, interests. The conversation was flowing, as they say. I gave him my mobile number and he sent me texts every day, just some niceties. One of them was “I think we are on the same wavelength” “I hope so” I responded. I haven’t the slightest known yet, how wrong I was on assuming so…
After a week of talks, we set up a real-life date. He lived around an hour train ride from me and came to the station to pick me up. When I entered his car, he looked up to the sky and said: “do you find those clouds a bit weird?” There were no clouds, only condensation trails from airplanes. I said: “these are not clouds”
To which, he responded: “exactly” and had an expression on his face as if he just had said something really meaningful. Bit of an odd exchange, but I shrugged a shoulder and we did not mention the “not-clouds” again. Then to my surprise, the date he set up was not the usual movie or restaurant combo with drinking, instead he took me to the riverside on a boat ride. I was enjoying it a lot, we both did a bit of rowing, it was sunny, we chatted nonchalantly.
We were talking about building styles in the UK (I am a foreigner) and I told him my impressions about buildings and differences to my home country. I also added that my dad is a bricklayer, so I have seen many houses being built.
To this, he said: “I have built something too”
I asked: “What did you build?”
“It is very unique. You will see it once, I hope.” — he said mysteriously.
“What is it, a bunker?” — I joked and we laughed out loud.
The first date was over. I thanked him for the pleasant time and laughs. There was not much chemistry between us but I thought, I will give another chance. So, when the next day he asked me for a second date, a dinner in his house, I said yes.
We drove to his house, where he lived alone. A nice and big family home. He had a wine chilled and invited me to look around. Everything was tidy, clean and stylish. I was impressed. We settled and he poured me some wine. Out of the blue, at one point, he told me to go outside and check his car.
The following conversation happened:
“Do you see the scratches on the side?” — he pointed on the side, where large, faint scratches were running.
“Of course I can see them”
“What do you think caused them?” — he asked again.
“I suppose branches or grass, or other cars, maybe some metal objects, a key maybe?” — I said hesitantly unsure where this conversation is going.
“Let me tell you: Satan did these scratches…” — sounded his response.
“Pardon?”
“Satan scratched my car.” — again that sort of meaningful expression.
“You mean figuratively I think, mean people maybe with evil motivation?” — I tried to deter the disturbing turn.
“No, literally, the Satan itself.”- he said dead serious.
Uh.ooo….
Do you know the feeling, when suddenly the world seems like upside down and the fear hits you momentarily to make you nauseate and words froze inside you? I had that, combined with one of the biggest WTF moment. “Is this guy crazy or what?” We went back inside, my alarm bells were set off after this, I tell you. I was like a hawk, watching for little signs of anything unexpected. Little did I know that the real fun starts later. Suddenly he suggested we go to the kitchen and eat dinner.
At least something normal, right? Right.
You would think that someone inviting you over would prepare something. This was not the case. He suggested we eat soft boiled eggs. I happen to like boiled eggs very much, so ate 4 of them with bread. No problem, I am not fussy. So far so good. After dinner, we went back to the living room and I relaxed a bit as Satan and scratches, the weird clouds and none of this crap was mentioned again.
However, around a half hour later, again without any transition he says:
“Let me blindfold you, so I can show you what I built”
My mind went screaming: NO WAY!
Adrenaline rushed through my blood I could sense it. Right then, I became concerned that this guy wants to kill me. In the same time, I decided he won’t have an easy task to do so as I will fight like hell.
I am not timid and rather strong and quick, so I was sizing up my options to run to the kitchen, grab a knife and defend myself if it comes to that. At this point, I’m wondering who was crazier, me or him?
Amazingly this is what I responded to him without even thinking:
“You know what? You are not going to blindfold me. Reason is, I think you are plotting to kill me. I know. And I also want you to know that you are not going to succeed. I will fight until my last breath.” — I sounded very calm, which amazed me even further.
His eyes opened wide and seemed genuinely surprised.
“OK, ok, I can see you are nervous. Calm down, I am not planning anything. Just wanted to surprise you. I can see it backfired, so let’s just go as we are. No blindfold, I promise!” — he said.
Even though I was scared, I was also curious, so I responded:
“Right. I will take a look, under two conditions.
First: You go in front of me and
Second: I will take a knife from the kitchen and walk behind you.
One bad move and you are dead. Did I mention I do martial arts?”
He agreed to my conditions.
So, here we are, walking out the backdoor into the dark garden. The wind is blowing, trees and bushes rustle ominously as we walk the path. Him in the front with a light, me behind him, armed with the biggest kitchen knife I have ever seen. Just a perfect picture of two crazy lunatics. As a matter of fact, I have never fought in my life, I’m absolutely terrified, I lied about the martial art thing as well, I don’t know what I’m doing here, who is this insane person with me, not a single soul knows I am even here — I think about my life, my family far away, my stupidity. We reach the shed in the back, well away from the house. There is only me and him, the bushes, and complete silence.
Around us and as in front of us, as much as I can tell, just some woody areas and meadows and a garden shed.
“This is it” — he says standing in front of the shed.
Just a normal wooden shed, with 6 locks on the door.
“This is what you built? Well, good one, now we can go back” — I am almost relieved.
“No, the one I built is inside. Do you allow me to open it?” — I realized he must be scared of me a bit too.
I nod.
He removes the locks and opens the door. The first thing I saw is a big axe on the floor! I jump away and pull the knife in front of me defensively. “I knew it! Is this your murder weapon?!” — I shout. I can feel my heart beating so fast. “Sorry, sorry! This is not meant to be here, I will put it away, ok? There.”-he says quickly.
“Give me that axe. Handle first.” — I order. He did, “Now, look inside” — he asks and steps aside. Very slowly, keeping an eye on him, I look inside the shed. Nothing. No rotting corpses, no torture chamber, just a few gyms equipment, gardening tools, completely normal. I sigh… maybe I imagine too much into this…until. from the corner of my eyes, I notice something on the floor.
This!!!!!!!!!!!!:
A submarine hatch door.
Holy crap, like a bloody rollercoaster! My gut is churning again.
“You really built a bunker…” — this is all I can say. What? How? Why? Words would fail to describe my thinking processes. “Yes” — he says bluntly and asks me to allow him to open the hatch door. Next thing I know is we are looking down into a hole with concrete stairs, thick concrete walls, going down few meters. A nuclear bunker.
I am thinking, “if he kills me now and closes the door, nobody will ever find me”
Let me tell you the end quickly. I did go down and looked around in the nuclear bunker of his design. He wanted to know what I think of it. I pointed out that no air filtration, pollution measurement equipment and surveillance system was installed so I was not sure if it is of any use (apart from hiding dead bodies). He agreed it needs improvement.
After the tour, we went back to the house. As you can guess, I was exhausted and weary from the whole evening but a bit calmer as I was still alive. I thanked him for everything and requested to leave. He cried and told me he never met such a cool person as I am. I was happy I only met a lunatic and not a serial killer.
After 1 month.
A guy took me for a second date and showed me the nuclear bunker he built driven by his ideas on an upcoming doomsday fight between evil and good.